Archive for March 2009

If You Were An Inventor, What Would You Create?

By | March 30th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Health & Fitness, Featured 2, Monday 2 | 2 comments
If You Were An Inventor, What Would You Create?

Health and Fitness Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally posted on Fitness For Mommies}

A silly post for all the things I’d like to see invented for the active, athletic mom that I am.

1. I am an avid exerciser and need to wear my heart rate monitor when I run. HOWEVER, I always get nasty welts/blisters/chaff burns from the combination of the strap and the jog bra. The bra must be moisture-wicking, BOMB proof, and does not chaff my arm holes either. As yet, my best bra (CW-X extra Firm hold) does not solve the HR monitor strap problem.

2. A cup holder for my Mountain Bike. We do a lot of riding around town on the weekends and I’d surely would appreciate a way to cruise home with my speciality drink held securely on my bike. No spillage allowed.

3. Flash cards. I need flash cards that are laminated, BOMB proof (nobody can destroy them) for weight training. I have the equipment, I can carve out the time, but, I need routines written down and illustrated for me. Something I could grab and go do! Preferably the cards would come with multiple routines with various levels from beginner to advanced.

4. A DateBook. I need a datebook that has a calender, blank pages to write down all the food I put in my mouth, tracking of my workouts, as well as space for grocery lists, to do lists, etc.. It needs to be stylish looking on the outside- but very functional on the inside.

5. Stylish clothing for bike commuting that are also incredibly functional. My Lole top worked great today because I realized it had a pocket in the back for my cell phone. However, my really cute skort shorts were too short underneath- which lead to my inner legs to rub on the saddle- ouch!


Choosing a Boudoir Photographer

By | March 26th, 2009 | Category: Art, BN Channel Art & Design, Featured 1, Photography, Thursday 1 | 8 comments
Choosing a Boudoir Photographer

Art and Design Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally Published on Definition Images-Utah Boudoir Photography}

In just about any wedding publication you are bound to run across the article titled “How to Pick Your Wedding Photographer”. They contain important information and can help you avoid choosing someone with little experience or professionalism. Boudoir photography is gaining a lot of popularity and you should look for the same thing when picking a photographer to take you personal photos. Here is my list of the 5 most important things a boudoir photographer should have/do/be:

1. Someone you can trust: While many male photographers do fabulous work, I still think it’s important to have a female photographer. She will understand that you, like all women, will have insecurities and will help you not only look your best but FEEL your best too. Regardless of what gender your photographer is make sure you are comfortable with them. Trust is very important in boudoir photography.

2. Posing Experience: Make sure your boudoir photographer has done this sort of work before. It is so much different than any other type of portraiture out there. Special skills, training, and education are necessary. Posing is critical to how you look, the camera only adds pounds if you are posed incorrectly. A good photographer will know how to bring out your best features and make you look your sexiest.

3. Lighting Experience: Studio lights are a must!!! I can’t stress this enough. Window light can only do so much. Your photographer may be able to work with natural light but they will be limited. Different looks, poses, body types, and moods all call for different lighting. Make sure your boudoir photographer is well educated about lighting. Anyone can run out and drop a few grand on studio lights, but that doesn’t mean they can use them effectively. Glamour lighting is the key to gorgeous images.

4. Photo Editing Experience: Editing images is an art! There are powerful editing tools out there than can do amazing things. Make sure your photographer knows how to use this technology. You don’t want raw unedited images. Boudoir photography is all about looking your best and subtle editing will aid in that. On the flip side you don’t want someone that edits with a heavy hand. You don’t want to look plastic and fake. Obvious photo editing is the absolute worst kind!!!


Understanding Sexy

By | March 26th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Personal, Featured 2, Humor, Thursday 2 | 6 comments

Personal Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally published at To Thither and Whither}

Apparently, I don’t “get” sexy

At all. Because what passes for “sexy” today…is so not.

For example, yesterday I was clicking through the channels trying to find something halfway decent to watch on the old telly. That’s when I came across the movie, “The Transporter II.”

Now normally, action flicks with lots of martial artistry and heavy weaponry aren’t really my thing, but there was nothing…else…on. So, I decided to stare at it for a minute or two.

Enter evil lingerie-clad woman.

She wants to kidnap this kid. Apparently, she really doesn’t like children, so she does what any other self-respecting child disliker would do.

She kidnaps this kid.

In her underwear.

At first I was very confused.

Did her clothes get wet and she was waiting for them to dry? Did they get dirty and she threw them in the laundry? Was the weather exceptionally hot that day? Had she torn her clothes in a fit of passion and not had the time to mend them?

Why was she in her underwear? I was so concerned about this I could not focus on what was happening in the movie. The only thing I cared about was figuring out what happened to her disappearing clothing. WHERE-OH-WHERE could it have gone?

I finally gave up, figuring she hadn’t had much on in the first place. So, I tried to follow the sequence of events as the violence unfolded.

“Tried to” is the key phrase there.


Yom Kippur reflections

By | March 23rd, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Religion & Philosophy, Featured 1, Monday 1 | No Comments »

Religion and Philosophy Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally Posted at Domestic Felicity}

One day, we will all go home.

To a place where our earthly possessions, our looks, ambitions, frustrations, demands, petty fights and competition with one another won’t matter anymore.

Where it won’t make any difference how much money we had, how big our house was, how fashionable were the clothes we wore; where it won’t even matter how much we excelled in housekeeping, gardening, cooking, sewing, or any other skill we prided ourselves for.

Our blunders won’t matter, either, nor will the blunders of others. The clumsy child who was scolded by his mother for smashing a cup, and had his little heart pointlessly broken over this, will be finally healed. The woman who felt torn apart because of cruel gossip, will have her heart restored.

There will be no more place for misunderstanding, suspicion and offense, no negative assumptions, and no need for explanation. It won’t matter what we had wanted to say, what we meant, tried, and failed to express. It will be possible to look into each other’s hearts, into our very souls, and see the goodness in there.

And finally we can cry over all the hidden treasures of goodness, kindness, forgiveness and love – tears of joy because they were found, tears of sadness because we never discovered them here on this earth, because of our human limitations.

We will be enveloped in infinite love. We will be, again, beautiful, beloved, sweet children. We will be forever with the One Who shaped us in our mother’s womb, and there will be no need to part again.


Special Needs

By | March 23rd, 2009 | Category: Amy Turn Sharp, BN Channel Family, Featured 2, Monday 2 | 5 comments

Family Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally published on The Big Piece of Cake}

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before – but my three year old son, Oliver is weird.

This is at least partly due to something called SPD (sensory processing disorder) that causes him to engage in activities that “feed” his need for a lot of sensory input. His teacher explained this to me by saying, “remember that kid in your class who just couldn’t stay in his chair? The one who would fidget so much that he’d actually fall out of it sometimes?” Well yes actually – I do.

I remember several kids like that. They were the ones who ate paste in kindergarten, fell into the pond on the second grade field trip and consistently got in trouble for “touching people” in more or less every grade through middle school. And now, as it turns out, I’ve given birth to one.

This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise since we speculate that my father was like this as a boy, AND after reading up on the subject, my husband says that he was definitely a sensory seeking SPD child. Thanks guys – you’re the best. The inability to walk past a puddle without lying down in it was one of the qualities I prayed for every night when I was pregnant with Oliver. Right up there with ten fingers, ten toes and the immediate ability to sleep through the night. (I’m just kidding about that last one of course. No first time pregnant woman worries about something as silly as their child sleeping through the night. They’re too busy obsessing over baby names, nursery themes, and important registry items like educational mobiles.)


The Leaning Tower of Politics

By | March 17th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Politics, Featured 1, Mr Lady, Tuesday 1 | 2 comments

Politics Blog Nosh Magazine
{Originally posted at Attack of the Redneck Mommy}

Growing up, my parents stressed the importance of voting and exercising your civic duty upon my impressionable mind. They made a big deal of elections and when I finally turned 18 and could cast my first ballot, they drove me to the voting station and proudly watched as I marked my very first X.

I don’t remember who I voted for but I remember thinking that it was my very first adult responsibility and I was proud of myself for participating in our democratic elections.

My party lost. But that didn’t matter to me; all that mattered was the fact I voted. My voice was heard. It may have helped if I hadn’t voted for the Marijuana party, but hey, I was 18.

After my parents had voted I remember asking them whom they had voted for. They refused to tell me because they didn’t want to influence my ideologies and they wanted me to make my own informed decision without any influence from them.

It didn’t matter how much I wheedled and needled them, they weren’t going to spill the beans. To this day, I still have no idea who they support but I’m fairly confident it isn’t the dope smokers. Just a hunch.

I’m now a bit of an election hound. I love politics. Not enough to consider tossing my hat into the ring, but enough to soak up every bit of election trivia I can get my mitts on and suck it up like a sponge. I only wish Canadian politics was half as feisty as those Yankee elections.

But we Canucks are a quieter breed. We’re still a dirty people; we just tend to keep it in the bedroom and out of the elections. Sooo boring. Mind you, after taking a look at our past and current leaders, I can only offer a prayer of thanks. I really don’t want to be imagining any of them getting busy on a blue dress. Ew.

Unlike my parents, there is much screaming and yelling civil debate about politics in our home. Boo has a wildly different political ideology than I do. If it were up to him, the world would all be doing a stiff legged march with a pert salute, as all bowed to his iron will. If it were left to me, well, let’s just say we’d all be seeing rainbows and unicorns and having a good time. Wink, wink.


Homeschooling Parents and Teachers

By | March 17th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Education, Featured 2, Tuesday 2 | 5 comments

Education Blog Nosh Magazine

{Originally published on Elsie and Joe Deluxe}

I’ve been thinking about the collision of two worlds lately, or the overlap in the worlds between classroom teachers and parents who opt to keep their kids out of school to teach them at home. I’m thinking about it in part because of the brou-ha-ha in California, where suddenly a bunch of people seemed to be saying that homeschooling parents were going to need a teaching credential. The issue has calmed down, as many were saying it would. I also have a friend who homeschools whose sister-in-law is a teacher who thinks my friend is not qualified to teach her kids at home. I have something to say about this.

On the one hand, there are the teachers who believe that their degree has prepared them for the work they’re doing. It’s hard for them to see that someone could do a good job of what they imagine to be the same work without a similar credential.

On the other hand, there are the parents who stay home with their school-age children, who have daily evidence that they are doing a good job, and that it can be done without a background in educational theory. It’s hard for them to see that teachers need their specialized degrees: after all, they have elementary educations themselves, don’t they? Do they really need to know how to teach long division, as long as they remember how to do long division?

The two sides feel understandably threatened by each other. I am here to tell you that both sides are confused. They think they’re doing the same thing: teaching kids the stuff they need to learn how to do. They are wrong. The two jobs are so dissimilar as to be just barely related.

Classroom teaching is an incredibly complex task. Let’s not even think about what it’s like to teach kids how to take standardized tests in a public school… mostly because I don’t know what that’s like. The teaching I was doing was child-centered, organically connected to the children’s needs and interests, with a flexible, individualized approach to curriculum that could speed up for intellectually gifted kids and slow down for the differently gifted. It was, in many ways, the classroom version of homeschooling, in which the child’s need for freedom and autonomy, both physical and intellectual, were respected.


The Dirty Truths No One Shares with New Moms

By | March 11th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Family, Featured 1, Wednesday 1 | 7 comments

Familyb_2_2

{Originally published on It’s My Life.}

“I am so tired.” She said, “why don’t they tell you about this?”

“Bu-uh-ut,” I stammered. “I did tell you.”

And I had, over and over again, for at least the last four months of her her pregnancy.

“Oh, I know,” she answered. “I just didn’t realize that no sleep, meant really no sleep.”

I thought back to all the times I’d tried to warn her and I knew I was partially to blame. It’s true. We don’t tell our pregnant friends everything, not because we don’t think they can take it, not because we don’t think they’ll believe us, but because it hurts to relive it and it’s easier to joke about sleepless nights than to go into details about how hard it really is.

So, my dears, here it is, the dirty dirty truth. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

No one tells you that you will stand in the shower day after day and sob because you can’t stand the thought of getting out and facing your baby again. No one tells you that some days you stand in that shower and it takes all your willpower not to curl up into a ball on the ground under the pelting shower stream. You don’t let yourself because you know that you’d never get up again.

No one tells you that with every lost hour of sleep you go slowly a bit more crazy and that the middle of the night is the darkest, scariest, and loneliest time. That you will dread the dusk because it’s the signal that night is coming and you just don’t know if you can survive another night.

No one tells you that you will grow to hate being touched and that some days it will again take all your willpower not to scream when someone places a hand on you, even as a gesture of love and support. By the same token, no one tells you that you will grow to hate sex or even the promise of sex and resent the person requiring it from you. Sex becomes just another chore at the end of a long and tedious day of tending to people’s needs. A chore that requires a lot of touching.

No one tells you that spending all day with a baby is boring. Mindnumbingly boring.

No one tells you that you will feel like half your brain has up and left you. You will forget everything. You will lose the ability to multi-task. You will lose the ability to form a coherent sentence.

No one tells you that you will resent, and even sometimes hate your kids, for many, many things like destroying your body and stealing your brain.


We Women Who Write Poetry Are

By | March 11th, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Fiction and Poetry, Featured 2, Poetry, Wednesday 2 | 11 comments
Fiction and Poetry Blog Nosh Magazine
{Originally published in Ordinary Art}

“Taking us by and large, we’re a queer lot
We women who write poetry. And when you think
How few of us there’ve been, it’s queerer still.
I wonder what it is that makes us do it.
Singles us out to scribble down, man-wise,
The fragments of ourselves.”
Amy Lowell

And so I’ve learned, across phone lines with background static, and small children sucking on their mother’s breast, while we jiggle laundry and lovers, balance belief with lack of self-esteem, that we are a queer lot, we women who aspire to the poetic word.

We sit in our pajamas silently penning Pulitzers while the world races by outside our doorstep, unaware. How many of you, how much of me, has been steeped in loneliness? Fear that it isn’t enough, could not possibly matter to anyone but ourselves.

And then there is a voice on the other end of the line, bringing with it the recognition that we are more than the echo in a silent room of fingers tapping impatient keys. We are more than longing. We are more than ache.


Tummy Mommy

By | March 2nd, 2009 | Category: BN Channel Pregnancy, Birth, Adoption, Featured 1, Wednesday 1 | 3 comments
Tummy Mommy

Birth and Adoption Blog Nosh Magazine{Originally published on Is There Any Mommy Out There?}

We have started to talk about it recently and it inspires in me a dark, deep-down fear. Your brother looks at the picture on this blog and chirps brightly, with grave knowledge, “That Darrett. That’s Darrett in Momma’s tummy.”

“And Saige,” you chitter, “and Saige in your tummy.”

Garrett nods gravely. You do every thing together. It is all you know. You are far too innocent and unsullied by our boring world to look at each other’s skin and question that it was not always so. That the bond does not stretch back to that quiet water-filled place. Unlike those we meet every day, the jaded masses who know in a glance that you didn’t sip from the same uterine cup.

readingcrop

“No babies,” I correct again, “not Saige. Saige grew in her tummy mommy’s belly, in Haiti.” I wish to just say yes, to keep it simple for you for a short time, while you are simple, but I’ll never lie to you about this for my own comfort. Not even once…