Apparently, I don’t “get” sexy

At all. Because what passes for “sexy” today…is so not.

For example, yesterday I was clicking through the channels trying to find something halfway decent to watch on the old telly. That’s when I came across the movie, “The Transporter II.”

Now normally, action flicks with lots of martial artistry and heavy weaponry aren’t really my thing, but there was nothing…else…on. So, I decided to stare at it for a minute or two.

Enter evil lingerie-clad woman.

She wants to kidnap this kid. Apparently, she really doesn’t like children, so she does what any other self-respecting child disliker would do.

She kidnaps this kid.

In her underwear.

At first I was very confused.

Did her clothes get wet and she was waiting for them to dry? Did they get dirty and she threw them in the laundry? Was the weather exceptionally hot that day? Had she torn her clothes in a fit of passion and not had the time to mend them?

Why was she in her underwear? I was so concerned about this I could not focus on what was happening in the movie. The only thing I cared about was figuring out what happened to her disappearing clothing. WHERE-OH-WHERE could it have gone?

I finally gave up, figuring she hadn’t had much on in the first place. So, I tried to follow the sequence of events as the violence unfolded.

“Tried to” is the key phrase there.